Police respond to wild animal, issue hilarious release afterwards

POST FALLS, Idaho - On Wednesday night, the Post Falls Police Department responded to reports of a wild animal trying to break into a house. After handling the raccoon, the PFPD distributed this hilarious release:

“A citizen called the Post Falls Police Department to report a suspicious individual trying to gain entry into her basement window. 

A sergeant responded and located a black masked burglar hiding in a window well. The bandit refused to comply with all verbal commands and indicated by his behavior and unintelligible snarling he had no plans on giving up without a fight. 

The sergeant offered the bandit a ladder if he would agree to give up peacefully, but to no avail. A second sergeant was summoned so that between the two sergeants they would have the collective IQ of one competent patrol officer; also everyone knows two supervisors are better than one.

They formulated a plan of attack to take the bandit into custody and using a net and a catch pole were able to snare him and hoist the feisty bandit out of the window well. It was no easy task as he came out kicking, biting, and snarling unintelligible threats toward the sergeants as he actively resisted arrest.

The plan of attack was flawless expect for one important detail, a plan for detaining the bandit once he was free. Without a set of handcuffs small enough the sergeants were afraid they might lose a finger(s) or contract rabies if they attempted to restrain the bandit as he fought fiercely to get free so they decided it was in everyone’s best interest to turn him loose. 

He was released, fortunately before anyone was seriously injured and was last seen sprinting into the woods nearby.

This bandit is still on the loose in the Highlands so please lock up your cat food. Our forensic artist was able to develop a promising sketch of the bandit.”