Every flavor of Dorito there has ever been, ranked
Every flavor of Dorito there has ever...
Doritos are the greatest mass-produced snacks in the entire world, and the website Thrillist decided to rank them all from worst to best. There have been sixteen flavors of the snack that is sure to leave your hands covered in flavored dust. Here is how all the flavors ranked, according to Andy Kryza:
16. Simply Organic White Cheddar
These Doritos were released as part of Frito Lay’s ‘Simply Organic’ line. They are basically the Dorito that leans toward the healthier side. Although, don’t be deceived, these Doritos have more calories per chip than the class Nacho Cheese.
Who doesn’t love the classic retro look of Taco flavored Doritos? Apparently the author of the Thrillist article. He said he just doesn’t get it and that he’s never eaten a taco that tastes like this. He also probably thinks the tacos at Taco Bell are real tacos. *eye roll*
14. Toasted Corn
I didn’t even know this flavor existed. And by looking at the photo, it looks like they’re just regular tortilla chips. Kryza said they’re great dipped in queso, but this is a ranking of Doritos without relying on tasty dip to increase their score.
13. Supreme Cheddar
According to the author, the cheddar flavor of these chips is not ‘supreme’ at all. They’re described as “satisfying,” but the cheese flavor lands somewhere between “a Cheeto and a Goldfish.”
If you’re into spicy things, these chips are for you, according to Kryza. He describes them as the equivalent of the scene in Dumb & Dumber when Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels accidentally kill the man by planting a hot pepper in his food. You can count me out.
11. Cool Ranch
This low level of a ranking for Cool Ranch seemed absurd to me. They’re one of the four flavors of Doritos I knew to begin with, and they get a measly eleven. Once I read why the author ranked them at eleven, I understood. The guy doesn’t like ranch. How can you like a ranch-flavored chip if you don’t like ranch? I, on the other hand, am a ranch-obsessed fiend from the Midwest and I love the Cool Ranch flavor.
10. Dinamita fiery habenero
Here’s another one I had never heard of, and honestly never needed to find out about. Apparently this chip is basically a rolled up version of the Dorito, probably so they look like little sticks of dynamite. I personally think they’re trying too hard at this point.
Just the name of this chip made my eyes start watering. Kryza describes them as “pretty spicy, but taste way better than Blaze.’ He also says there’s a hint of lime in these, and that I could go for.
8. Poppin’ Jalepeño
Even though the title of these chips sounds like they should be extremely spicy, the author says there is “virtually no heat” whatsoever, but the pepper flavor is there with a hint of cheese. I just like them because they gave me an excuse to use the keyboard code to type the letter “ñ,” and I basically feel like a really smart computer coder when I do that.
7. Jacked ranch-dipped hot wings
Uh, what? Seems to me if I want hot wings dipped in ranch… I’d just go buy hot wings and ranch. The author says they’re “pretty good.” Wow, that tells me a lot.
6. Spicy Sweet Chili
Here’s another flavor that I had actually heard of, and tasted, before I started writing this. I love these chips. As you recall, I’m a bit of a wuss in the spice department, but the sweetness of these chips helps keep me from sweating profusely. It’s almost like a Sweet Thai Chili sauce flavoring.
5. Dinamita Chile Limon
Kryza said these are just like Flamas, except they’re rolled into little taquitos. He also said these paint your fingers “like Easter egg dye.” It’s quite surprising that one Dorito could leave more dust on your fingers than any other, but I’ll take his word for it.
Doritos partnered with the hot sauce on this one, and why you would want a bag of crispy things that are coated in hot sauce, I have no idea… but if that’s your thing, these are apparently the chip for you.
3. Salsa Verde
Excuse me? These exist? I’ll be right back, I have to go to the store right now. Salsa Verde is one of my favorite things. By the way, in the description of these, Kryza say he wishes that Taco bell would make this the next Doritos Locos Taco… which I think proves my earlier point about him and Taco Bell. Called it.
2. Spicy Nacho
Kryza said these are exactly like the Nacho Cheese flavor, but have a little more of a kick to them. He said they are the type of chips that represent the rare occasion a person who is spice-averse (cough, me) can actually eat something labeled “spicy.”
1. Nacho Cheese
Here is something where this author – who I have picked on relentlessly, even though I know nothing about him other than his Dorito preferences – and I can agree on. Nacho Cheese reigns supreme. You just can’t beat a classic.
If you made it ths far, thanks for reading my ranking of someone else’s ranking. If you want to see Kryza’s ranking for yourself, you can find it here.
If you want to let us know your favorite Doritos flavor, head to our Facebook page and find our poll. Just search ‘KXLY 4 News.’
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