Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon decided to come clean in an interview with the magazine GQ.
Gordon admitted in an interview that was published Monday that he used drugs or alcohol before every NFL game he played.
"We would stay at the team hotel, and then players are allowed to go back home, get what they need and then go to the game," Gordon said. "So I'd leave the hotel early morning, go home, eat breakfast, do my little ritual, whatever it may be, some weed, some alcohol and then go to the game. And then, I'd definitely be partying after every game, win or lose. Every game."
Gordon, who last played in a game on Dec. 21, 2014, has been conditionally reinstated to the league after being suspended indefinitely since September 2016 for multiple violations of the NFL-NFLPA Policy and Program for Substances of Abuse.
The Pro Bowl wide receiver said he began taking drugs in seventh grade, and continued to do so before every game he played in 2013 -- when he led the NFL in receiving yards while playing just 14 games.
"When I got to the league, I think they had their doubts from the very beginning," the 26-year-old Gordon said. "From the day they drafted me, they had to know there was some type of risk involved. I don't think that they specifically knew. But I'm sure they had their doubts.
"(I) missed a lot of meetings, showed up late a lot of times, eyes were probably bloodshot on many occasions. But I guess you couldn't really draw a definitive conclusion because I thought I was evasive enough. And because nobody told me anything."
Gordon insists he's a changed person after going through a lengthy rehab.
"At this point, I thought, 'If I want any type of a life, if I wanted to live, (I'll stop),'" he said. "It was like: You're never going back to (expletive) work ever if you can't figure out how to live. Because at this point in time, the trajectory, you're going to die. You're going to kill yourself."
Gordon is eligible to start practicing with the Browns on Nov. 20 and can be added to the 53-man roster on Nov. 27, which means he could play again in Week 13.