Neckties on white background

No. 5: The necktie

If you're a father, you have no doubt received one of these hypercolored neckbands from your offspring at one time or another. If you were really lucky, your significant other gave the kids complete freedom to pick the color and style of the tie.

The resulting gift is frequently something in colors so bright that protective glasses are required to look at it, and failure to wear a UV-shielding undershirt will leave you with a really strange tan line down the middle of your chest.

The fact is that married men usually aren't allowed much in the way of sartorial freedom. We get told what goes with what, what goes with what she's wearing and what's out of style.

The one place we can exercise our inner Tim Gunn is in tie selection. We might surprise you -- or we might buy a set of ties commemorating the Three Stooges. Either way, it's our turf.

And while we're talking about manly activities ...